Teething and Toys

Kenly chews on everything now. As I pack toys away after play time, I always find at least 4-5 really soggy items. Kenly and Papa in the rocking chair. They had just finished playing with a music box.

Nana and Kenly playing with the Birthday Bear. They look like they are having lots of fun.

It turns out the rash on Kenly's face is eczema. We're working on clearing it up, but the drool from teething is complicating matters on her chin. We're using lots of Aveeno Baby lotion and petroleum jelly to form a protective barrier on her chin.

Now that she's a confident sitter, Kenly loves her toy from David and Elizabeth. She loves to spin the fish in the middle.

7 months of adventure

It has been awhile since I've done a Kenly update. Last week I took her to the doctor because she was on a food strike, but it appears that she is still gaining despite her boycott of solid foods. She was a whopping 16 lbs and 8.5 ounces. The doctor thought she probably had a touch of a virus, so we just flopped around the house for the week. Adam went to visit Walt in Texas this past weekend, so I was a single mommy for a few days. Kenly was an angel all weekend, but I was still exhausted by the time it was all said and done. I'll never understand how single parents make it. I had a blast catching up with friends this past weekend. I went to 12 Bones with Jennifer and her husband Ben and their son Davis. It was nice to finally meet Ben. Out of the kindness of his heart, he volunteered to keep Kenly for the evening so that Jennifer and I could go to a movie. Do you know how long it has been since I went to the movies with a girlfriend? I can't even remember the last time that happened. On Sunday a miracle almost occurred. Kenly stayed in nursery until 11:52 which means I almost got to hear a whole sermon. Yeah...perhaps my persistence is paying off at last. Then I got to see my friend Shannon for lunch and after that I was able to meet Jessica in the park for a catch up session. I was reminded this weekend of how important female friendship is to my sanity. Adam is trying to finish up his National Boards, so I have single parent duty for most of this week. I'll gladly take it though. If he gets certified, and North Carolina agrees to honor the pay raise, it will make our budget a lot more comfortable next year. In short, it will help protect my stay-at-home mommy status.

I'm coming to grips with this "depression" stuff. I'm seeking a godly councilor who can just listen to me talk some things through. I'm learning to let go of my perfectionism. The Bible study that I'm in right now is so helpful. I need to learn that "perfectionists always fail." I can't be perfect, but I can be a good mom who does things with great love and devotion. Who needs that pressure? I'm just feeling more like myself. The fog is lifting a bit, and I'm feeling some joy again. I can laugh at myself again. I couldn't laugh for awhile. What is life without laughter?

On a lighter note, Kenly is getting so close to crawling that it makes my heart skip a beat every time she gets into position. This past Sunday she sat up in the crib for the first time. She cheated a bit though . The head of her bed is elevated, and she grabbed the bumper to pull herself up. But, I think that shows genius in and of itself. I have a little problem solver on my hands. She loves to play in the bath now. We've added a few bath toys, and she thinks that is oh so cool. Her favorite is a blue laundry scoop. At first I was grossed out when she would chew on her bath toys, but I just had to let go. If I tried to fight that battle, I'd be so defeated. Yesterday Kenly rode in the grocery cart at Food Lion. She looked so proud of herself the entire time. She loves to laugh and to play. Her personality shows more every day. She's laid back, but she gets bored easily. Woe to the person who makes her angry. She'll let you have an earful if you tick her off. Every day I am amazed at how she changes. I loves watching her discover her world.

Adam wanted to introduce Kenly to the joy of peaches. She loved them. She's like her daddy; she moans when she eats something good.
When we celebrated Adam's birthday, the princess got tired, so Adam tried to get her to take a nap in the woods. No such luck. There were too many cool things to see.

Hey good lookin'....What you got cookin'? This weekend I introduced Kenly to the joys of a pot and a spoon. We played for over an hour. This spoon is almost as big as she is.

A teaspoon was a little more her size, and it made a really cool noise.

The dentist gave us a tooth brush for Kenly. Here she is "brushing" her teeth for the first time. They told us to let her play with a tooth brush so that the texture of the brush wouldn't appear so strange the first time we try to brush her teeth for real.

D-O-G

I wonder if I can get the dog? Almost there...

I think one more roll will do the trick.

Sweet victory.

Kenly is aware of Chance's location at any given minute. She'll roll, scoot, and stretch to be beside him. She loves to "pet" the dog. I'm not sure Chance is a fan of all the attention. He better learn to like her loving because she's about to crawl, and his peaceful existence will be wrought with interruption. These D-O-G actions shots were taken this morning. They aren't the best pictures, but you'll see what I mean about Kenly going to great lengths to be near her buddy.

Trouble with a Capital T

Two nights ago I put Kenly down for 2 minutes while I fixed a bottle in the kitchen. In two minutes time, she managed to roll across the room. She located the dog's water bowl and turned it over. When I found her, she was wallowing in a puddle on the floor with a smug look on her face. She was so proud. I should have tried to explain that her actions were bad, but I broke down in laughter. What will I do when she starts crawling or walking?

Fun with Gma,Nana, and Papa

Last Thursday Kenly and I headed to visit Grandma. I wanted Kenly to spend some time with her, and we had a great visit. The original plan was to visit Leanne after hanging out with Grandma, but Kenly and I were both fighting a little "funk," so we headed to visit with Nana and Papa in Augusta instead. I really did not want to infect Leanne's children with anything. Friends do not share viral infections.

While in Augusta, we went to a consignment sale. We found this little piano for $2.00. Nana and Papa bought it for her, and she loves it. It plays "Rockin' Robin" and "When the Saints Go Marching In" among other things. It is a really neat toy. Kenly is jamming out as I type. She's a quick study. She's had the toy for only a few days, and she can already make it do what she wants it to do.
My child does throw fits already. Most of them don't produce a tear. I consider those fits tantrums. However, when real tears are involved, I have to act quickly. Hopefully she won't learn to cry at will.

Nana had a great time feeding Kenly Shae.

I love that Papa is trying to help Kenly use the sippy cup. I do the same thing.

Here is Kenly with her Great Grandma. It was great to see Grandma play with the baby.

Honesty

The past seven months have been hard. Harder than I'd really like to let on to most people. I like to appear together, on top of things, and strong. But in all honest, I'm a ragged mess right now. For the past few weeks I've been feeling slightly dead inside, void of the bubbles of joy that I almost always have. I've been anxious beyond my normal "Nervous Nelly" persona. I've struggled to sleep. I've wanted to stay in bed. Poor Adam has seen more mood swings than one husband should every have to witness. For three weeks, I've cried at the drop of a hat. I am not myself. Adam lovingly suggested I talk to Dr. Simmons. My mom and dad suggested I talk to Dr. Simmons. My friends Leanne and Jennifer suggested I talk to someone too. Finally after four suggestions, made in love, I called the doctor. It was the hardest call I've ever had to make. I tried to think of ways out of the appointment. I tried to reason with myself. You're not crazy. You're doing a bit better today. You don't have to go. But in the end, my head won over my heart.

I talked to Dr. Simmons openly and honestly about how I've been feeling. I didn't sugar coat anything. Since Kenly is almost 7-months-old, and my hormones are under control, postpartum depression could not be blamed. I tried to blame my feelings on the cocktail of medication I have to take for the RA. Dr. Simmons said nothing I was on should make me this whacked out. So, in the end, it was decided that I have a mood disorder. I'm now one of the millions of Americans on an anti-depressant. Dr. Simmons feels that the stress I've been under, good and bad, caused the chemicals in my brain to get out of whack. I'm relieved to know that there is an answer, but I'm struggling with taking the medication. I feel weak and out-of-control. I despise both feelings. I know this is a short term issue. I'll only have to take the medication for 6 months to a year, but I want to fix it myself. I want to pray it away. I want to will it away. But I can't, and to be honest, I'm sick of trying. I'm so utterly tired. So, I'm taking the medication, and I'm praying for a changed attitude toward it. Ultimately, I knew deep down that I needed to take control. If medicine is what it takes, I'll do it. I have to be responsible for Adam, for Kenly, and for myself. I'll fight to get my peace and my joy back.